You work out of a Hotel?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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