Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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