I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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