Don't you send me to vm
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
