He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
