If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
