I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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