Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
