in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize