im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize