Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
