Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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