just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
