Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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