there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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