I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
