you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
