Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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