I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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