Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
