Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
