I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
