thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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