if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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