Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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