I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
