we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
