We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
