Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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