After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
