I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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