I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
