no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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