When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
