you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
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I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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