she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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