I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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