my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
