I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
