I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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