I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
