Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
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I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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