Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
