need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
