mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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