Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
