I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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