How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
