I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
two words...techno handjob
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
