News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
