There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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