The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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