"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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