He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
