Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
