so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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